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Do You Have IGS? (Irritable Gods Syndrome)

The same astrological research team that discovered the relatively unknown but widespread condition known as SLDS (Severe Libra Deficiency Syndrome) (1) has finished its research into IGS,(2) and discovered that a full 95% of the population are afflicted by Irritable Gods Syndrome. It turns out that political leaders, economic trends, and social conditions have been unfairly blamed for the difficulties and stress most of us experience, including unrequited love, chronic health issues, “developmental” despair, and fated encounters with used car salespeople. All along it was just cranky planetary gods.

An IGS attack can occur at anytime, so it is good to be near an ephemeris.

The classic symptoms are:

  • A persistent experience of difficult astrological transits, as if the planets were “out to get you” — if you have IGS, they are out to get you!
  • Every time you check the transits, the Moon seems to be square or opposed to an outer planet.
  • When Saturn changes direction, it always seems to do so on an important point in your chart, such as on your Sun or Ascendant.
  • Your progressed chart has been stuck in the cosmic muck for much too long now.
  • You suspect you have a retrograde Moon in your natal chart (at least that’s what your partner claims).
  • When you finally meet someone you are attracted to, and compare your natal charts, their Mars and Saturn are opposing your Sun, Moon, or Venus — it is as if the gods are taunting you.

IGS is nothing new, really. Almost all mythological stories feature one or more gods continually messing with each other and relentlessly messing with humans. I seem to recall something about one poor soul having to push a boulder up a hill. Hmmm…

Is there a cure for IGS? Although NoPlutoMoTrine, Retnograde, and a few other drugs have been suggested, and although Vedic astrologers have developed a large encyclopedia of remedial measures, the only certain cure for a severe case of IGS is reincarnation. But maybe in a different solar system.(3)


(1) SLDS is otherwise known as “being an Aries” or having Mars in a fire sign on the Ascendant. Notable people with SLDS include many presidents.

(2) “Research” in this case means 25 minutes with an ephemeris and some strong coffee, while talking to a few test subjects at the local donut shop.

(3) Wouldn’t it be nice if we could make trades with other solar systems (like sports teams do) and swap Saturn or Neptune for something new under the Sun? (We know, be careful what you ask for.)

© 2017 The Mountain Astrologer


  1. Totally hilarious!

  2. Yes, truth ringing out in most of this! Made me chuckle,though – I’ve shared it on my Facebook astrology Page.

  3. One must take care not to take on and or identify with the darker Aspects of these psycho/astrological Gods!
    Instead of fearing Mars/Pluto/Saturn read about them. See through to them mythologically.
    Be aware of all their psychological aspects.
    Work on becoming conscious of their dark and light aspects.

    Do something positive as a way of releasing anger. For example exercise, yoga, building. Find safe ways to transform and become conscious of your own projected rage. Do not give it to astrological Mars to carry and/or enact!
    Punching bag anyone?!!

  4. LOL! Hilarious. I and many of my clients can testify to having experienced any number of planetary slogs during this particular incarnation. We can opt to be cremated on the banks of the Ganges in Varansi, India which is alleged to end the cycles of reincarnation into earthly form. Or so say the swamis there. But on second thought, this is has been, and continues to be, one incredible, fantastic, outrageous, passionate, creative, soulful, ride. I think I’ll stick it out.

  5. Myself, I’m inclined towards having a Neptunectomy. Waaaayyyy too much fraud around me.

    • I myself am planning a Jupiter transplant.

  6. Thank you for this! It delivered some really good belly laughs which I needed since Saturn did just station on my 28 degree of Sagittarius Sun!

    • Happy to hear that someone is laughing out there! 🙂

      • You started it Tem..

  7. I’m just delighted!!! Finally I know, what was wrong with me all along: I’ve got an Irritable Gods Syndrome 😉 Now, just EVERYTHING makes sense…
    This column defintely made my day!!! <3
    Greetings from cloudy Hesse in Germany

  8. Best laugh I’ve had in a long, long time! I went to the Dr. the other day and she recommended antidepressants, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and Mindfulness. I said, “No thank you” as politely as possible. I am 68 years old and my mother died when I was 3. I’ve had IGS for 65 years now and someone f i n a l l y gave it a proper name. Blessings and THANK YOU. I’ll just keep on rolling with the planets.
    Scorpio Cyn

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