Do You Have IGS? (Irritable Gods Syndrome)

The same astrological research team that discovered the relatively unknown but widespread condition known as SLDS (Severe Libra Deficiency Syndrome) (1) has finished its research into IGS,(2) and discovered that a full 95% of the population are afflicted by Irritable Gods Syndrome. It turns out that political leaders, economic trends, and social conditions have been unfairly blamed for the difficulties and stress most of us experience, including unrequited love, chronic health issues, “developmental” despair, and fated encounters with used car salespeople. All along it was just cranky planetary gods.

An IGS attack can occur at anytime, so it is good to be near an ephemeris.

The classic symptoms are:

  • A persistent experience of difficult astrological transits, as if the planets were “out to get you” — if you have IGS, they are out to get you!
  • Every time you check the transits, the Moon seems to be square or opposed to an outer planet.
  • When Saturn changes direction, it always seems to do so on an important point in your chart, such as on your Sun or Ascendant.
  • Your progressed chart has been stuck in the cosmic muck for much too long now.
  • You suspect you have a retrograde Moon in your natal chart (at least that’s what your partner claims).
  • When you finally meet someone you are attracted to, and compare your natal charts, their Mars and Saturn are opposing your Sun, Moon, or Venus — it is as if the gods are taunting you.

IGS is nothing new, really. Almost all mythological stories feature one or more gods continually messing with each other and relentlessly messing with humans. I seem to recall something about one poor soul having to push a boulder up a hill. Hmmm…

Is there a cure for IGS? Although NoPlutoMoTrine, Retnograde, and a few other drugs have been suggested, and although Vedic astrologers have developed a large encyclopedia of remedial measures, the only certain cure for a severe case of IGS is reincarnation. But maybe in a different solar system.(3)


(1) SLDS is otherwise known as “being an Aries” or having Mars in a fire sign on the Ascendant. Notable people with SLDS include many presidents.

(2) “Research” in this case means 25 minutes with an ephemeris and some strong coffee, while talking to a few test subjects at the local donut shop.

(3) Wouldn’t it be nice if we could make trades with other solar systems (like sports teams do) and swap Saturn or Neptune for something new under the Sun? (We know, be careful what you ask for.)

© 2017 The Mountain Astrologer